An Interview with Sandra from "Less Stuff , More Meaning" Wedding Guide.
It’s an absolute privilege welcoming Lindy and Ulf, Heart to Heart Storytelling, to our community of eco-ethical vendors. Theirs is a unique talent, enriched by their wisdom, environmental activism and quite simply, heart. I won’t go on, as Lindy and Ulf have explained the meaning of storytelling as part of your wedding experience, better than I ever could.
Storytelling celebrants, sounds intriguing…how did that come about?
Ulf and I were storytellers first, we had both been telling stories separately and together for about a decade and when my daughter and her partner asked us to marry them, it seemed a natural progression and another meaningful way to share our storytelling skills. So, while I (Lindy) am the legal celebrant, Ulf works with me to create & perform the ceremonies.
So why tell stories?
Aside from doing what we love and loving what we do, storytelling brings meaning & connection. In our fast-paced technical world, information is googled then forgotten, relationships may be ‘virtual’ rather than human, and we are bombarded with sounds, images and consumerism. Even our important life events such as weddings & funerals are quick, cookie cutter affairs, often with more thought for the catering & decorations, than the ceremonies. Yet people are searching for meaning in their lives and there is an innate hunger for connection and the warmth of community.
And ever since there have been words, there has been storytelling, storytelling is our oldest art form. Stories just makes sense to humans, we live stories, we share stories and we understand stories. In storytelling we find the commonalities of our humanity rather than differences. Storytelling provides the nourishment that our souls long for. Stories told eye to eye, mind to mind and heart to heart, gift us the sense of sacredness, the feeling of belonging and recreation of community connectiveness.
We have seen audiences deeply touched by our stories. One woman thanked Ulf for his honest, heartbreaking story of his first wife’s death. She said his story had open her eyes to the beauty that lies within the most difficult of times. A young gay man, with tears in his eyes said the creation myth we shared during a wedding ceremony made him feel truly recognised & valued. While others have wondered at the profound wisdom of simple folk tales for today’s problems. In stories, we have cried at the beauty of life, laughed at its absurdity and been inspired by the hero’s journey.
Whatever the story, and whoever our audience, whether sharing stories at a community event, a school or during a wedding ceremony, we never ceased to be amazed at the profundity of storytelling to open & connect hearts, to share wisdom, give meaning and sacredness back to modern life.
How does the inclusion of stories into a wedding ceremony add more richness to the experience?
We love to tell the story of the couple, how they met, what they love about each other, the obstacles overcome, dreams for the future, the funny stories, and the ‘ahhhhhhh’ moments. It’s these stories which we can all relate too and be inspired by… it’s the stories people remember long after the wedding cake is eaten.
Sharing family stories or cultural tales can assist the coming together of two families in understanding and appreciation for each other and their traditions. These tales can also link the past to the present and future, gifting people the security of continuity and connection, while myths and religious stories can add layers depth and meaning with their ancient metaphors.
Tell us your story! How did two storytellers meet and fall in love?
Well that’s a long story, and we are storytellers… but I’ll make a long story short; in 2014 we both attended “Storytelling as Performance Art” at the International School of Storytelling in the UK. I fell in love with Ulf when I heard his first story, a lovely, whimsical Swedish fairytale. And Ulf fell in love with me, on our long barefoot walks through the golden summer meadows. He asked me to marry him on the last day of the 5 week course. We were married in Australia 4 months later. Our very own fairytale!
We’d love to hear about your daughter’s wedding…what was the experience like for you as a celebrant?
The first time I practiced their ceremony, I cried and cried, so I had to practice quite a bit to get through without the tears flowing. It was such a celebration of love but more than that it was a celebration of their rainbow community.
I will always cherish the time that I spent with Jessie and Hayley before the wedding, talking with them, listening to their stories, and learning about how they deal with conflict, and their hopes, dreams and plans for the future. The whole process of co-creating the ceremony with them was an honour and a privilege.
Jessie and Hayley were open to any ideas about the ceremony and they were keen for stories to play an important part. When Ulf and I came across a creation myth which beautifully explains why there are men who love men, and women who love women, and men and women who love one another, we felt is was a great basis for the ceremony, Jess and Hayley loved it too. We also told the story of their meeting & adventures, some embarrassing moments and the magical ones. The ceremony was rich with laughter and tears (I did hold it together) and it was an absolute reflection of those two beautifully unique women.
How have you seen storytelling engage a sense of community and connectedness?
I co-founded a community storytelling café, Long Story Short, in 2013, where we invite storytellers and people with a story to tell to come and share their stories. We are now in our 5th year and when people arrive, they come as strangers but after hearing and sharing stories they leave as friends, as community. One storyteller, who shared her life story as a transgender woman described Long Story Short as ‘heaven on earth’ for the love and acceptance she experienced with our audience. And that’s how it is every month, through stories we find and share the bonds of our common humanity.
What would you like to see more of in weddings?
To borrow your words, less stuff and more meaning! The last 5 weddings I have been involved in have been community affairs.There is an old saying that it takes a village to raise a child, well I believe it is should also be a village to create a wedding.
Give every guest a job; big, small, something that suits their talents. Get artists painting signs, musicians on the music, Aunty Flo can collect jars for table decorations. Begin a year or 6 months in advance and make a list of everything that needs doing and assign people to tasks. People love to be asked, besides sharing stories, inviting others to help on your special day creates a strong sense of community.
Your ceremony sets the intention for your married life. So, spend more time on considering intentions and meaning. Be creative with your ceremony, weave in those intentions and meaning, focus more on the internal than the external decorations. A ceremony rich in meaning is a strong foundation for a life time together.
Don’t aim for perfection. Mistakes and disaster do occur, accept them with grace and allow magic to arise.
And share more stories…. Definitely more stories at weddings!
Apart from wedding ceremonies, how else can storytelling benefit us?
Storytelling is experiencing a worldwide revival in many fields, business, heath & wellbeing, education and environment. Ulf first fell in love with storytelling as he witnessed it’s ability to build strong communities.
My first interest in storytelling was as a powerful way to reconnect people with the natural world. While you can tell people facts about why they should look after the environment, facts don’t make them care. But a well told story evokes empathy and fosters the sense of stewardship.
What other services do you offer?
Stories, stories, stories, for all ages and occasions. We share stories with schools, preschools & libraries, at music & environmental festivals. You’ll find us at children’s birthday parties, on storytelling bush walks, and keep a look out for our storytelling in local parks. Of course, we believe that any life event deserves a story or two. If you have a venue or an occasion we have a story to fit!
What’s your favourite story and why?
OOOOOhhh, tough question! I can’t go past the story Ulf told when I fell in love with him, Astrid Lingren’s ‘May My Linden Tree Play’. Ulf also still loves that one. But we do experience a love affair with whatever story we are working on… if we didn’t, we couldn’t tell it!
What can couples expect when they book you for their wedding?
Quite a few cups of tea, (herbal or bog standard) and questions to start with. We want to know all about you. We want to hear your stories, we want to know what makes you tick and how you click as a couple. Unrushed, unhurried, lets get to know each other so we can co-create a ceremony that shares the beautifully unique stories of you.
And finally, how do you (Ulf) feel about being a Roald Dahl look-alike? 😉
Ulf: Well Roald says “It doesn’t matter who you are or what you look like, as long as somebody loves you” and that’s good enough for me.
Lindy: Roald also says “It’s impossible to make your eyes twinkle, if you aren’t twinkly yourself” and I think Ulf’s eyes are very twinkly indeed.
And here is more of Lindy’s daughters wedding to enjoy! Images thanks to Ben Wyeth Photography for capturing Jessie and Hayley’s gorgeous day.
Heart to Heart Storytelling are based on the Central Coast, NSW, and available for travel worldwide.
At last our Government has recognised that all love is equal, and now it will also be recognised as legal. Ulf and I had the honour of performing a handfasting ceremony for my daughter Jessie and her partner Hayley a few days before the announcement. (love has it's own timetable) These two wonderful women celebrated their love, their commitment to love one-another always in front of family & friends. And we found the perfect story to tell at their ceremony which speaks about the awesome power of love.
Love is Love is Love
Lindy: And soon we will celebrate the day, when all love is recognised as equal and legal. For Love is love is love… and heaven knows, the world needs more love. A very wise man Plato once said;
Humans have never understood the power of Love, for if they had they would surely have built noble temples and altars and offered solemn sacrifices; but this is not done, and most certainly ought to be done, since Love is our best friend, our helper, and the healer of the ills which prevent us from being happy.
Plato said that to understand the power of Love, we must understand that our original human nature was not like it is now, Plato tells a very different creation story…
A Very Different Creation Story
Ulf: In the beginning human beings were not singular beings as we are today but a fusion of two beings into one- each of these ancient beings had two sets of arms, two sets of legs, and two faces looking in opposite directions. So of course there were not just two sexes man and woman… There were three manwithman, womanwithman & womanwithwoman. The unified beings of two men were called the Children of the Sun, the second unified being of man and woman, were called the Children of the Moon and the third unified beings of two women called the Children of the Earth.
The power of these original unified human beings was great. So great that the Gods themselves felt threatened. So they looked for a way to end the humans' power without totally destroying them.
Mighty Zeus cast down his thunderbolt and split these unified-beings in two. Alas, not only reducing their power but rendering them incomplete, so that for evermore each half would long and search for their missing part. … And if by chance they found one another again they would throw their arms about one another, desperately trying, to be one united being again.
The Ancient Desire
This ancient desire is imbued in all of us. Today We still seek to return to our original double nature, reuniting two into one, and thus healing the state of humankind. Each of us when separated, having one side only, is always seeking our other half.
Those whose original nature lies with the Children of the Sun, are men who are drawn to other men. Those from the Children of the Moon, are men and women drawn to one another. And those from the Children of the Earth are women who love other women.
And when one of us meets our other half, we are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy, and would not be out of the other's sight even for a moment. We pass our whole lives together, desiring that we should be melted into one, to spend our lives as one person instead of two, and so that after our death there will be one departed soul instead of two; this is the very expression of our ancient need.
For our human nature was whole, and the desire and pursuit of the whole is called Love.
Congratulations and much love to the beautiful couple.
PS: We'll do the legal stuff after the honeymoon
A heart to heart blog on life, spirituality, storytelling & stories.